So You Call That Speechwriting
by DJ Nox
Summary: A stressed Enjolras gets some help with his speech-writing...among other things. Warning: Slash abounds.


Author's note: First of all, I'll get this out of the way: I myself did not write this fanfic. Rather, my poor boyfriend wrote it, after I bugged him nonstop. Hey, he owed me a slashfic…but anywho. Unfortunately he does not yet have an account here, so I offered to post it for him. Now, another thing: WARNING. WARNING. This fanfic contains SLASH. And it gets rather…far, so to say. Not TOO graphic, but still enough to merit a R rating. So if you're freaked out by the idea of Enjolras and Grantaire making out in the back room of the Musain, feel free to hit the back button. Well, enjoy!

_"So You Call That Speech-writing…"_

   Enjolras sat at a table in the back room of the café, once more trying his hardest to write a speech, and by the looks of it, failing miserably. Grantaire sat behind him, refraining from his usual ranting and commenting, and instead focusing on the play of candlelight on his, sadly, empty wine bottle. He attempted to stand up and get another one, but, unfortunately, ended up face down in a rather uncomfortable position. He attempted to get up, again unsuccessfully, but eventually simply decided that it was not worth the effort, and perhaps, there could be some interesting things to be found while staring at the floor, which was awfully close.

   Our dear Enjolras, however, was having trouble of his own. For reasons directly in our control, he was failing miserably at his speech-writing, simply staring at the blank paper and muttering to himself, scribbling something down, getting angry and cursing, and then crumpling up the paper and throwing it away. Eventually, he simply gave up and put his head down on the table, with every intention of at least trying to somehow recover his lost craft of speechmaking.

   Grantaire, who at this point had finally managed to right himself, noticed the object of his affections finally giving up and putting his head down. He called to him.

   "Oh, my dear Apollo… have you forsaken your duty and given up on your great crusade for freedom and justice and free cheesecake for all?"

   "…shut… up…"

   "Aww. It seems that I have angered the great Enjolras, master of all and servant of none. Must I now face the wrath of the great and almighty? Oh, dear. Forgive me for a second while I quake in fear over here in this small corner…"

   "I repeat… shut… up…"

   "Fine, fine. But then you won't get to hear my story of the penguins and the flying sheep."

   "…"

   "Hmph."

   "Grantaire. For once, make yourself useful and shut your damned mouth before I get up and shut it for you."

   "Oh? My dear, there are ways of shutting people up that I would simply *love* to see you try out on me…"

   "…"

   "Fine, fine…"

   Grantaire finally decided to take pity on the poor Enjolras and shut his mouth, at least for a while. Or, perhaps, it was less the work of pity than the fact that he had discovered another bottle of wine, which was getting less and less full by the moment. Enjolras sighed and softly muttered something under his breath, but apparently not softly enough to escape the attention of our drunken stalker.

   "Did you say something, oh great Apollo?"

   "Yes, I did. I was simply stating that the weather was getting awfully cheery for this time of year."

   "…right… my dear, I might be drunk, but I'm not *that* drunk…"

   "Damn…"

   "Now then, my dear, what was it that you said?"

   "Well, if you haven't figured it out already, and considering the state you're in-"

   "Minnesota?"

   "Ahem. Considering the state you're in, I doubt you have, I'm only horribly failing at writing this speech. I'm also dead tired, stressed, stressed, stressed, and have I mentioned stressed?"

   "Only three times…"

   "Four, actually. Now shut up and go back to your drinking, fool."

   "Hmph."

   Enjolras continued to attempt to regain his speechwriting, but Grantaire had other plans. He might as well make himself useful, he though. So, he stood up, fell down, stood up, battled with gravity, lost again, stood up, and remained standing for more than 10 consecutive seconds. Having achieved such a tremendous personal victory, he ambled over behind Enjolras' chair, and slowly began to massage his shoulders. Enjolras stiffened for a bit, but eventually loosened up, or at least one part of him did.

   "So, Grantaire, deciding to make yourself useful?"

   "Oh yes, oh great Apollo. I was so awestruck by your power I could no longer simply remain sitting in the corner being nothing but a mere shadow in the light of your greatness. Besides, I also needed to stand up to go to the bathroom."

   "…are you threatening me?"

   "No, no, simply a statement. My bladder can refrain from exploding for at least a few more hours."

   "…right…"

   "So, my dear, are you enjoying this?"

   "Why, yes, I believe I am…"

   "Is there any way to make this more enjoyable for you?"

   "Yes. Shut up. Please."

   "Very well, my dear…"

   With these words, Grantaire suddenly leaned over and kissed Enjolras, who had turned his head to talk to him, directly on the mouth. Enjolras stiffened again, in more places than one, and suddenly pulled away. He was silent for a few moments as Grantaire continued his attentions. Finally, Grantaire spoke again.

   "Well, you told me to shut up. So I did. No reason to get angry at me for doing as you said. After all, next time, simply don't ask me to shut up if you find something wrong with it. Hmph. I listen to what you say, and then you don't even have the decency to say 'thank you.' Well, then, maybe next time you should just-"

   At this point, Grantaire was suddenly cut off by the fact that Enjolras had just stood up and proceeded to kiss him deeply, very deeply. And Grantaire found out on a first hand basis that Enjolras was indeed skilled in more than simply giving speeches. Well, he thought, when a tongue gets as much exercise as that, it really should posses this much skill. 

   Eventually, Enjolras pulled away, and sat back down in his seat, once more placing his head on the table. Grantaire stood and watched him, quite very still and quite very silent.

   "Well, Grantaire? I did not give you permission to stop…"

   Grantaire was still stunned, but once more started to massage Enjolras' shoulders. Eventually, Enjolras stood up once again and faced Grantaire.

   "Well, Sebastien, I suppose you deserve a reward for this… tell me, what do you want?"

   "I want… I want…"

   "Well?"

   "I want you."

   Grantaire's voice cracked. Enjolras smiled.

   "Very well, my dear, and how do you want me?"

   Grantaire seemed to be regaining some of his usual sarcasm.

   "Lightly sautéed with a bit of salad on the side."

   "Oh? Well, I'm afraid I cannot be *that* well done. Any other way?"

   "Yes… Yes, I suppose there is some other way…"

   "So are you going to tell me or am I simply going to have to guess at it?"

   "Well, Marcelin, while it would be quite entertaining to play the guessing game with you, I suppose I shall simply have to tell you. Or to show you, rather, since it is quite a lot more fun that way…"

   Grantaire suddenly began to advance on Enjolras. He placed his hands on Enjolras' shoulders and slowly ran them downwards, caressing his chest through his shirt and vest. He kissed Enjolras, slowly removing his vest and beginning to unbutton his shirt. Eventually, he broke away.

   "Well, I could have guessed at that, you know…"

   "Yes, I know dear, but you would have messed up on one part or another and so I simply had to show you. Besides, half the fun is in the giving, anyway…"

   Slowly, he removed Enjolras' shirt, softly caressing his back, and kissing his neck, lightly running his tongue over the sensitive areas along the jaw, provoking soft moans from Enjolras.

   "Well… Sebastien… I suppose you can use your tongue for more things than just… aimless… rambling…"

   "Mmm… my dearest Marcelin… that is just as true for you…"

   He slowly moved downwards, kissing his way down Enjolras' chest. Fortunately, Enjolras' femininity stopped at the skin and did not continue into other parts of his chest. Grantaire continued downwards, softly trailing his lips along Enjolras' abdomen, eventually reaching slightly above the belt. He began to unbuckle Enjolras' pants when he stopped him.

   "Mmm, my dear, however much I'm enjoying this, I do believe it is *you* who deserves the reward…"

   Grantaire smiled and stood up, receiving Enjolras' passionate kiss. They moved against a wall, Enjolras slowly leaning Grantaire against it. His lips slowly trailed downwards, softly kissing along his neck, his hands starting to unbutton Grantaire's shirt. The shirt eventually dropped to the floor, Enjolras continuing his attentions on Grantaire's neck, his hands softly caressing his back. He slowly trailed his lips along Grantaire's neck and onto his chest, his hands softly massaging his lover's backside. Grantaire moaned softly, running his hands through Enjolras' hair and along his back. Enjolras' lips continued along Grantaire's chest and along his abdomen, eventually reaching the same spot where Grantaire had left off on Enjolras. His hands moved to unbuckle Grantaire's pants. 

   Suddenly, a voice called out behind them.

   "However much we have been enjoying the show for the past half hour, when you two are done, it would be quite good if Enjolras could actually write his speech…"

   Enjolras and Grantaire slowly turned around, meeting eyes with the rest of Les Amis de l'ABC.


End file.
